Yes, he'd gone through different kinds of loving her in that short time. Needing to keep her alive and with him, being constantly surprised by how they complemented each other, respecting who she was and what she could do, growing to trust and rely, recognizing that where she walked was where he wanted to go, even caring enough to fight; seeing in one another a humanity they thought was lost, and, in reflection, accepting and healing their own… But more, so much more… the blazing admiration and attraction and everything else that could be in the word 'love'.
And yes, he'd literally been half dead: the fall hadn't killed him but the climb had, he'd just known he'd be able to run out the clock enough to do what he needed to, to help Jyn, which was all he'd wanted to do with literally the rest of his life. He didn't want to say it even now, though, to cast that darkness over the moment. Because he'd, they'd survived after all and that, no matter what other dreads he had about this place, was the ultimate gift.
Something else struck him as she spoke, now… everything she'd just said, going back to the beginning, and the lightness with which she was saying it… She was speaking as if this was their first time around. Like it was for him. No way in hell was he going to comment on it; it was just a moment, not a contract, but he found himself storing it as a precious, welcome ache in his heart. Navigating the Other was going to be an endless challenge, never to be willed away or forgotten, but this felt like some kind of… moment of… healing?
So Cassian hugged her and kissed her face, quick and intense, and said, "This might be a problematic way to think about it. It was only a few days. Try to believe me, I know how important time is, how it takes a while to learn anyone, for enough situations to happen… But the situations we did go through… it did feel like I knew you, in actions. Felt like why I fell in love. Every act you took, every choice I saw you make—not just the correct ones but the right ones. Not a lot of people get to prove themselves in a lifetime as much as you did to me, and I hope I did to you. Learning more is a gift, would become a problem if we didn't do it over time, but I think we—we recognized each other."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-06-16 09:07 pm (UTC)And yes, he'd literally been half dead: the fall hadn't killed him but the climb had, he'd just known he'd be able to run out the clock enough to do what he needed to, to help Jyn, which was all he'd wanted to do with literally the rest of his life. He didn't want to say it even now, though, to cast that darkness over the moment. Because he'd, they'd survived after all and that, no matter what other dreads he had about this place, was the ultimate gift.
Something else struck him as she spoke, now… everything she'd just said, going back to the beginning, and the lightness with which she was saying it… She was speaking as if this was their first time around. Like it was for him. No way in hell was he going to comment on it; it was just a moment, not a contract, but he found himself storing it as a precious, welcome ache in his heart. Navigating the Other was going to be an endless challenge, never to be willed away or forgotten, but this felt like some kind of… moment of… healing?
So Cassian hugged her and kissed her face, quick and intense, and said,
"This might be a problematic way to think about it. It was only a few days. Try to believe me, I know how important time is, how it takes a while to learn anyone, for enough situations to happen… But the situations we did go through… it did feel like I knew you, in actions. Felt like why I fell in love. Every act you took, every choice I saw you make—not just the correct ones but the right ones. Not a lot of people get to prove themselves in a lifetime as much as you did to me, and I hope I did to you. Learning more is a gift, would become a problem if we didn't do it over time, but I think we—we recognized each other."