Jyn frowned slightly, wishing she hadn't said anything after all. She wouldn't have, if she had known he would take it as something he'd done wrong rather than something he'd done right. Maybe she was biased in his favor (no, she was definitely that anyway) or maybe she was too far removed to have an accurate perspective; maybe it was just that she'd so long since made her peace with the orders he'd kept from her but hadn't followed that she didn't have it in her to hold any ill will against him because of it. They'd had it out in the shuttle after, and discussed it several times over here. That didn't mean she was all right with it, but that wasn't on him.

Neither, she assumed, was the way the Alliance treated her, but that wasn't a mental road she wanted to go too far down. All of it was so long ago, anyway. His being here, and fresh from all of that, just brought a lot of it back to the surface again.

"So you let me keep it even knowing how badly I would react to that," she said, half a question, as close to amused as the subject would allow. (It wasn't very, but she hoped he would see it as her lack of a grudge.) Any levity was short-lived. She propped herself up on one elbow so she could get a good look at him, expression serious. "Cassian... I know I've had a lot longer with it all than you have... but believe me when I say I get it. Not saying that it was right, or that I agree with it, but I do get it. I don't want you to beat yourself up over it."