What did we do? What did we build? How did we grow? He wanted everything… at the same time, he wanted to know nothing. Whoever that was wasn't him and he wanted to learn with her anew. But he also wanted her to tell him anything she needed to.
That would be later. This moment wasn't about him at all. It was about tremor in her and the pain in her stardust eyes, pouring down her cheeks.
That wasn't him… but it also was. However this worked, he had done to her what everyone else had.
He wasn't in his body and didn't know what to do with it. He wanted to kneel before her and bury his face in her stomach. But that made it about him, asking her to comfort him. Abhorrent. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, but that was presuming consent that had been granted to someone else.
At last, Cassian moved his hands. He let go of hers but never removed their contact. They ran up her arms to gently hold her biceps, inviting her to step in to him, maintaining her freedom to move away. He bowed his head so their eyes completely met. The twin infinities sank into one another as they had in the elevator. He couldn't know what she'd been through, but his had their own… abject… grief.
"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely, with his whole body. "Jyn. I'm so, so sorry."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-05-11 09:21 pm (UTC)That would be later. This moment wasn't about him at all. It was about tremor in her and the pain in her stardust eyes, pouring down her cheeks.
That wasn't him… but it also was. However this worked, he had done to her what everyone else had.
He wasn't in his body and didn't know what to do with it.
He wanted to kneel before her and bury his face in her stomach. But that made it about him, asking her to comfort him. Abhorrent.
He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, but that was presuming consent that had been granted to someone else.
At last, Cassian moved his hands. He let go of hers but never removed their contact. They ran up her arms to gently hold her biceps, inviting her to step in to him, maintaining her freedom to move away. He bowed his head so their eyes completely met. The twin infinities sank into one another as they had in the elevator. He couldn't know what she'd been through, but his had their own… abject… grief.
"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely, with his whole body. "Jyn. I'm so, so sorry."