Jyn listened as he spoke, taking in this information with as much care as she had anything else he'd told her thus far. The overall facts of it were less new this time; she'd been there, after all, on Eadu, saw the other bodies and the Man in White surely about to kill her father.
What she hadn't known was how close it had been when Cassian decided not to pull the trigger, that he had changed his mind before the Alliance ships dropped their bombs and rendered that decision null. For that matter, it was news to her that he'd seen the two of them in those last moments. She half-remembered Cassian dragging her away from her father's body, but she'd been out of her mind with grief and confusion then, unable to think clearly enough to connect those dots. A little while later, it had sunk in that he'd come back for her and taken such a risk in doing so, even after she was no longer strictly needed for the mission. In the haze of everything else, it had been hard to appreciate that in full.
"I didn't save anyone, Cas," she murmured, glancing over at him, taking in the way the light from the flames illuminated his features. "I didn't even know what hope was until you reminded me." At the time, she'd thought it sounded utterly ridiculous. That she learned otherwise in time to help anyone else was because of him. "And my father... Well, fact: I spent most of my life hating him. For leaving. For going with them. I had a whole list of things I'd call him in my head. Coward, bastard, traitor... I don't even know if those were wrong."
no subject
What she hadn't known was how close it had been when Cassian decided not to pull the trigger, that he had changed his mind before the Alliance ships dropped their bombs and rendered that decision null. For that matter, it was news to her that he'd seen the two of them in those last moments. She half-remembered Cassian dragging her away from her father's body, but she'd been out of her mind with grief and confusion then, unable to think clearly enough to connect those dots. A little while later, it had sunk in that he'd come back for her and taken such a risk in doing so, even after she was no longer strictly needed for the mission. In the haze of everything else, it had been hard to appreciate that in full.
"I didn't save anyone, Cas," she murmured, glancing over at him, taking in the way the light from the flames illuminated his features. "I didn't even know what hope was until you reminded me." At the time, she'd thought it sounded utterly ridiculous. That she learned otherwise in time to help anyone else was because of him. "And my father... Well, fact: I spent most of my life hating him. For leaving. For going with them. I had a whole list of things I'd call him in my head. Coward, bastard, traitor... I don't even know if those were wrong."