More questions without answers, that others, even Jyn, had grown to stop asking. Was it Cassian's job as newcomer to shake them up, re-ask them, or did he defer to her greater experience and just…
(Do I look grateful to you?)
Cassian had slept unaccustomedly long and deeply and was suddenly almost as tired as when he'd arrived. Some things required multiple days to sleep off. If you could. If you had someone like Jyn watching your back.
"I think I need to go back to sleep," he said, passing a hand over his eyes. "I'm sorry…"
"Hey, don't apologize," Jyn said, shaking her head. Given everything she knew the last few days had entailed for him, it was no wonder that he was still exhausted. In truth, she was feeling some of that herself. With her emotions running so high and how damn confusing everything was, sleep would be welcome, even if it came with its own set of complications. Thank the Force there were several bunks — she'd already put him to bed earlier in one that could be his own — but she didn't know what it would be like now to sleep across a room from him, or share the casual intimacy of the same sleeping quarters.
The thought made her suddenly determined to ignore any such awkwardness. If that option failed, well, she could sleep anywhere; she'd leave him the room and curl up on one of the bench seats in the sitting area. In any case, she could appreciate the fact that he trusted her enough to stay in her space and rest here.
The dream of resting together invaded his mind and he pushed it away. He could only dream.
"You're sure—" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "I won't make you repeat yourself. Thank you."
He stomped out any remaining embers and picked up the bottle from the oil to bring inside. A final wisp of material made its way into the atmosphere in his vision, and was gone.
Tucking the bottle under his arm, Cassian turned again to Jyn and offered a smile. "Lead the way."
Jyn gave him a look at the sentence he cut off, almost teasing in its pointedness. She wouldn't have minded at all repeating herself as many times as he needed to hear it, but there was a relief in finding a familiar rhythm again, in letting things be a little less emotionally charged. The expression quickly gave way to a smile of her own, and she nodded before starting to head back into the ship. As much as she might have wanted to, she didn't reach for his free hand. Distance, she reminded herself. She had to start getting used to that.
"You don't have to keep thanking me, either," she said as she glanced over her shoulder at him. She sort of understood the impulse. When nothing had ever been given to her for free, or, really, without her having to claw her way to and fight for it, when the entire concept of safety was still a relatively new one to her, she wasn't in the habit of taking anything for granted. But letting him stay was hardly even a decision. Even if she hadn't preferred having him close to her, she would never have cast him out. "But you're welcome."
Winding around the corridor, she turned into the bedroom. "D'you want something else to sleep in? I can see what I can find, if you do."
Something else to sleep in… He exhaled another smile. "What a luxury. Sure." As she turned in one direction, he went in another back into the kitchen, where he rinsed out the emptied bottle and set it among other refuse. While he was at it, he washed up other dishes from their earlier meal.
"I know, crazy, right?" Jyn agreed with a soft laugh, one that masked how stupidly nervous she was over something so simple. Just as distance was good, though, so was giving herself something to do. Heading back to the bedroom, she grabbed her own sleep clothes from her bunk and ducked into the walk-in closet with them. Easier to do both things at once — to change without having to navigate around him and to see what else there might be for him to wear to sleep.
Tempted as she was to offer a cape as a joke, this didn't seem like the right moment for it.
When she emerged a few minutes later, she'd changed for bed and brought with her an unearthed T-shirt and sweatpants, which she set on what she would have to start thinking of as his bed. The latter would probably be too warm to actually sleep in, but she'd give him the option anyway, and at least both seemed likely to fit him comfortably. She huffed out a heavy breath when she heard the water stop running in the kitchen, then stepped out into the hall.
"I left clothes on the bed. I'll just, um—" She gestured back over her shoulder, as if to indicate that she had to do something unspecified. "I'll give you a minute."
"Thanks." He dried his hands and crossed to accept the clothes. Since it was clearly her intent, he waited until she was gone before changing into them.
Some minutes later, he emerged into the bedroom wearing the t-shirt and sweatpants (he'd decided that whatever she thought appropriate, he would go with) and holding his former outfit perfectly folded. He set the pile down next to "his" bunk and turned to Jyn. The pattern on the t-shirt, which he indicated, lifted his eyebrow. Clearly, he couldn't imagine it had been… 'his'. "We'll do that shopping trip tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yes," Jyn agreed emphatically as she came back into the bedroom from the hallway, where she had been waiting without actually doing anything. Working around each other like this would probably have to be a temporary solution if he wound up wanting to stay long-term, but that, she insisted to herself, would be fine. This was all just too new for now, and her emotions were too much a jumbled mess. Given a little time to settle down, she probably wouldn't even need to think twice about changing in the same room.
She just had to keep telling herself that.
"Definitely a shopping trip tomorrow. Most of what's around here, I honestly couldn't even tell you whose it was."
That was sort of a relief. But yes, he was positive he wouldn't have picked out this shirt. Or if he had, proof positive it was a different person. Not worth thinking about. Hopefully he wouldn't dream about it. Good luck.
He leaned over and touched her arm, only for as long as it took to say, "Good night."
"Good night, Cassian," Jyn replied, giving him a tiny smile before she crossed the room to close the door and switch the light. It didn't seem like quite enough, but there wasn't really anything else to say, least of all if she didn't want to say too much. So, instead, stealing a glance at him through the darkened room, she climbed into her bed and turned toward the wall, hoping she would manage to sleep halfway decently.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 01:55 am (UTC)(Do I look grateful to you?)
Cassian had slept unaccustomedly long and deeply and was suddenly almost as tired as when he'd arrived. Some things required multiple days to sleep off. If you could. If you had someone like Jyn watching your back.
"I think I need to go back to sleep," he said, passing a hand over his eyes. "I'm sorry…"
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 02:10 am (UTC)The thought made her suddenly determined to ignore any such awkwardness. If that option failed, well, she could sleep anywhere; she'd leave him the room and curl up on one of the bench seats in the sitting area. In any case, she could appreciate the fact that he trusted her enough to stay in her space and rest here.
"Honestly, I think I could sleep, too."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 02:19 am (UTC)"You're sure—" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "I won't make you repeat yourself. Thank you."
He stomped out any remaining embers and picked up the bottle from the oil to bring inside. A final wisp of material made its way into the atmosphere in his vision, and was gone.
Tucking the bottle under his arm, Cassian turned again to Jyn and offered a smile. "Lead the way."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 02:37 am (UTC)"You don't have to keep thanking me, either," she said as she glanced over her shoulder at him. She sort of understood the impulse. When nothing had ever been given to her for free, or, really, without her having to claw her way to and fight for it, when the entire concept of safety was still a relatively new one to her, she wasn't in the habit of taking anything for granted. But letting him stay was hardly even a decision. Even if she hadn't preferred having him close to her, she would never have cast him out. "But you're welcome."
Winding around the corridor, she turned into the bedroom. "D'you want something else to sleep in? I can see what I can find, if you do."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 03:00 am (UTC)Tempted as she was to offer a cape as a joke, this didn't seem like the right moment for it.
When she emerged a few minutes later, she'd changed for bed and brought with her an unearthed T-shirt and sweatpants, which she set on what she would have to start thinking of as his bed. The latter would probably be too warm to actually sleep in, but she'd give him the option anyway, and at least both seemed likely to fit him comfortably. She huffed out a heavy breath when she heard the water stop running in the kitchen, then stepped out into the hall.
"I left clothes on the bed. I'll just, um—" She gestured back over her shoulder, as if to indicate that she had to do something unspecified. "I'll give you a minute."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 03:13 am (UTC)Some minutes later, he emerged into the bedroom wearing the t-shirt and sweatpants (he'd decided that whatever she thought appropriate, he would go with) and holding his former outfit perfectly folded. He set the pile down next to "his" bunk and turned to Jyn. The pattern on the t-shirt, which he indicated, lifted his eyebrow. Clearly, he couldn't imagine it had been… 'his'. "We'll do that shopping trip tomorrow, yeah?"
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 03:26 am (UTC)She just had to keep telling herself that.
"Definitely a shopping trip tomorrow. Most of what's around here, I honestly couldn't even tell you whose it was."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 03:31 am (UTC)He leaned over and touched her arm, only for as long as it took to say, "Good night."
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 03:56 am (UTC)